Daylight Savings Time

This weekend I read somewhere that we were supposed to change our clocks again and I felt good that after 40 something years, I finally remembered that little “Spring ahead, Fall behind” expression so I knew which direction to go and I was ready.

I read that at 2:00AM on Sunday, Spring ahead commences. I think of 2AM as “night” not morning (lets be honest, so does everyone) so in my limited brain, (limited because of all the fun I had in the 70’s), I understood that I was to Spring ahead on Sunday night, 2AM. I always remember doing this on Sunday so it seemed right. Then on Saturday morning, at 12:00 Noon (real morning for Saturday) I experienced the chaos we all anticipated on Y2K. It was Y2K combined with 2012 which according the Mayan calendar is supposed to be a doosey for us in the apocalyptic sense of the word. The end of the world does not seem so bad when compared to loosing an hour of sleep.
When I woke up on Saturday morning, every clock in my house displayed a different time. The ones automated said 12:00 PM the others read 11:00AM. So I adjusted them all. I “Sprang Ahead”. Now I had clocks that read 12:00PM and others that now read 1:00PM. I was confused and decided to make dinner in case I might miss it later.
For two weeks after daylight savings time there is certain verbiage used to express what people are “really” thinking. Here is an example of what a post DST conversation sounds like:

“What time is it?”
“What time is it REALLY?”

So we all know that the new time we are recognizing is false as a matter of fact this whole practice is a fallacy. This has ramifications that go beyond just the time.
If I can’t trust the clock how can I really trust the calendar? Who the heck says February should only have 28 days in it? Greedy landlords who want their rent sooner; I bet it was their idea in the first place! How can I trust that other little calendar song that we’ve all been brainwashed with:

30 days hath September, April June and November all the rest have 31 except for February which stands alone.
Anonymous Landlord.

I am surprised they didn’t get away with having 28 days for every month. This will be revisited during the next Republican administration.
This year I refuse to recognize Daylight Savings Time. I’m going with the time it “really” is. What do I need a longer day for anyway? Longer days are for happy people, rich people! If I were rich I would also like days that never end and I would bathe in hundred dollar bills all day. As for me? I can’t wait for the day to end so I can go to sleep. Now I am REALLY tired! I lost a whole hour of sleep. 60 minutes (if even that can be trusted).
I am posting this as a warning to anyone who makes an appointment with me until the Fall. I am operating on “real time” not Daylight Savings Time. You better take that into account if we are scheduled to meet or if we have any kind of appointment. This also includes: doctors, dentists and anyone else. I’m putting you on alert and to my landlord: next year you’re getting your rent on February 31.

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