Muammar Gaddafi issued a statement this morning thanking the Academy Award Ceremony for allowing him to take a day off from being in the “minds eye” of the public. It was reported that Gaddafi watched the broadcast alone in his bunker, transfixed by the fanfare and suspense of who would win best actor and actress and which picture would receive the Academy Award. “This is the first year in a long time they got it right”, he said by telephone today. “These Coen Brothers are so over rated. As long as those Zionists are in the race no one could win. I thank allah their piece of sh*t, “True Grit” was not nominated. I hope everyone continues the festivities for another few days to give me a chance to figure out my next move. Thank you.”